Where Does The Book Start?
Hi Lesley,
I just figured out how to put comments in their own catagories. I think this could make things alot easier for everyone down the line. So here is your question for reference:
hi dawn, I was wondering where is the book going to start, when your a teenager or older or is it going to be about your whole life. thanks, Lesley
This is a great question. I spent countless days and nights mulling over where I wanted to start my book. It is funny though, because initially due to the many interviews, documentaries and finally the movie Wonderland, I half expected for someone to approach me and ask to write it for me. (There actually was someone who wished to write it prior to the E! True Hollywood piece, but they proved unreliable.) I don’t know why really, people talked about it, but no one really stepped up.
Then, on a day a couple of months after filming Wonderland, came a call from Val Kilmer. He explained that he and his business partner Ali Alborzi were in the process of creating photo collages of the movie and would I be so kind as to provide them with a simple timeline of John and my relationship, so they could better create and describe some of their pieces. Of course there was nothing simple about John and my relationship and the timeline turned into the beginnings of the book.
It was this timeline process and the end result of what the movie Wonderland would be on film, that made it very clear to me what needed to be told — not only the missing pieces of the movie, but who I was.
I begin with the first couple of chapters describing briefly my childhood and the commonality of thoughts and interpretations children share. I talk about the important people in my life and the bizarre turn of events that would lead me to the doorstep of John’s private home. It was important to me to describe how I was a girl, like many other girls, who although had some tough times in her childhood, never saw it coming. It was not only important, but necessary for me to relay certain events, that in hindsight are crystal clear signs that I needed help. For me, it had to be honest, because only the truth would speak volumes to those willing to listen.
Again, thanks for your question.
Blessings,
Dawn
September 27th, 2004 at 2:10 am
Has your book been published, and where can I buy it????
Love the movie.
September 27th, 2004 at 8:55 am
Hi. We are hoping the book will be out by fall/winter 2005! It is now in the editing stages and I should know more by the end of this week. I will keep everyone posted as well as contact people who have already given me their email addresses when I know more.
Tell me? What specifically did you like about the movie? This is an intriguing question to me. Everyone is so different, yet I do find a common thread with the people I’ve talked to so far.
Thanks for your question.
Dawn
September 28th, 2004 at 2:31 am
The DVD has just recently been released here in Scotland. The storyline was new to me, so didn’t know much to start with. I was surprised to learn how young you were, but felt you handled yourself as best you could, with the circumstances around you. Hope that makes sense!!!! Glad you still keep in touch with Sharon. Looking forward to your book coming out. xx
September 28th, 2004 at 8:29 am
Hi. Yes, I knew September was the date for the release of the movie Wonderland in Europe. Thank you for your kind words. Sharon and I are very, very close and we consider each other family. There is a BBC special called, “The Secret Map of Hollywood”, that should be aired this month as well. Sharon and I gave an interview for the Wonderland segment of the piece a few months ago, specifically with the Scotland based group. It is a compilation of many of Hollywood’s notorious events. I have not seen it yet, and await a copy of the tape myself. If you see it before I do, let me know what you think? Thanks again.
Dawn
October 4th, 2004 at 11:46 am
Hi Dawn! I can’t WAIT to read your book. I thought the movie was fascinating (especially being friends w/Holmes’ wife while he was still married). I would love to know what your life is like now.
October 5th, 2004 at 9:34 pm
Thanks for your comment Cindy.
Wow, what is my life like now? Great question…where do I begin? Today, I am married and the mother of a four year old daughter. I don’t do drugs or drink alcohol and haven’t for many years. I am pro-active in my community and spend a good deal of my personal time nurturing my spirit and teaching my daughter to do the same. I have finished my first book and am planning a second. I still have a Chihuahua, (my third), this time a girl and her name is Tinkerbelle. (Yes, I’ve had her much longer than Paris Hilton has had her Chihuahua, also of the same name.) I am still very, very close to Sharon Holmes and we are like family. In my book, Sharon has given me permission to write her views and accounting of that time period with John and she has written a beautiful prologue.
In a nut shell, I am a very happy person. Did I get to this place overnight? No — and this is part of the reason for this web log; to share some of the journey of my survival with others who have an interest for whatever reason.
Thanks again for having the patience for my book.
My Best,
Dawn
October 15th, 2004 at 3:12 pm
hi i was clicking on different things to this website,i was wondering under meta, comments rss 2.0 what is that? and it read in description “babblings” on my return email to you,what does that mean? will log on later hope to hear from you.
October 15th, 2004 at 4:17 pm
The comments RSS is just a news feed that allows other blogs and/or search engines to grab it and report when new comments are made, just like the RSS for blog posts. Some blogs just post the feeds from a blog rather than a link to the blog and it allows many other bloggers to know when a blog has been updated.
The “Babblings” description is just another word for “writings or comments”. I think it’s supposed to be humorous because the definition of babble is - To utter a meaningless confusion of words or sounds - To talk much; to chatter; to prate - To disclose by too free talk, as a secret - It was written into this blogs script by the programmers. I might change it if there are too many asking about it and/or they feel put-off by the word.
October 22nd, 2004 at 10:59 am
sorry, a lil sensitive.. but ur husband is more or less ok with your past? also, how are you planning to tell your daughter about it…or rather, let her find out?
mel
October 22nd, 2004 at 6:31 pm
Hi,
What excellent questions!
First, my husband, bless his heart, tells me that none of that matters to him. It was the past and has nothing to do with the way he sees me or knows me to be. He is also a believer in helping people and understands what it feels like to be in a hard place in life.
Regarding my daughter — she will know the truth. Honesty, from me about my past, not others interpretation of it, is the best way. She already is a part of everything regarding the telling of my story, for instance she turned three years old on the set of Wonderland. She is well loved at our local shelter where she learns, at her own pace, what the place is and why her Mom feels strongly about being there. She will know that bad things happened to her Mom when she was young and that she is okay now. She will have a detailed accounting by my hand in my book and most of all she will know that it was the past. Not now, not the future, but the past.
This was a huge fear of mine initially, that is why I think it is a great question to address. But what I have found in speaking out and standing up, is that I am continually surrounded by supportive people and she in turn recieves that support. I am committed to teaching her her self worth, not only by telling her of the hard lessons of my past, but by showing her in my actions today.
Most important, she is her own, smart, strong, kind, beautiful person, who has a Mother who loves her dearly and who always will. The world is her oyster and she knows she has her own life to make her own very special dreams come true!
Thanks.
Dawn
October 22nd, 2004 at 9:20 pm
Thanks Dawn…
Your daughter is really lucky to have a mom like you.. =) If only all parents are like you and ur husband. The world would be a much much better place.
mel
November 17th, 2004 at 9:27 pm
Hi Dawn,
I just saw Wonderland, and I cannot believe that I never knew of that whole story when it happened . I guess I was busy making my own mistakes in my youth, that the news wasn’t that important (July 81, I was just about to turn 16 and become pregnant with my now 22 year old son). I agree with your view in your comment to Mel (10/22/04) that honesty with your daughter is the best way. Take it from a mom with a 20 year old daughter. She is an only daughter, with 3 brothers and I have always been honest with her about things i’ve done in my youth. She whined about why I was so hard on her, pushing her to succeed when she felt she didn’t need to work so hard. Well, long story short, it paid off and she let me know that “knowing” of my experiences first hand kept her from making some bad choices in life. I’ve never felt more proud as a parent for being honest when she let me know. It’s not easy being honest with your kids, and admitting that we’ve made some poor choices. We think we are supposed to give our kids the image that we’re perfect. Believe me, the honesty is worth it in the end.
Robin
11/17/04
November 18th, 2004 at 11:22 am
Hi, Dawn. I was wondering if your book will contain pictures of the major players involved. I have looked but been unable to find pictures of any of the real people involved (except you), which would help drive home the fact that all of this happened to real people — that this is someone’s life and not just another Val Kilmer movie. I liked the movie, because its fast pace, intense soundtrack, and out-of-order sequencing kept me alert and interested. I think those three things combined make the viewer really feel what it was like to be living a cocaine-induced life in the 70’s and 80’s and accurately portrayed the cocaine lifestyle as being fast paced and jumbled. I’m very interested in reading your book and look forward to when it hits the shelves. Please let me know when it comes out. Thanks.
November 19th, 2004 at 12:56 am
Thank you so much Robin. I can’t tell you how reinforcing it is to hear that you followed the same road with your daughter and that the outcome was worth it all. This made my day! And more! My daughter is one smart cookie, and anything other than the truth from me would break that mother/daughter trust. If I don’t live my truth, than what will be her truth? I’m so glad to hear another story of not only survival, but accomplishment and healing. Thanks again.
Dawn
November 19th, 2004 at 1:01 am
Hi DeAnn,
Thanks for your thoughts. I will have lots of pics of the real people in my book as well as behind the scenes shots of the movie Wonderland. More and more photos are suddenly becoming available to me and things seem to be coming together with the book at a steady pace. Much work involved, but trust me the constant stream of support from you and everyone else helps tremendously.
Thanks,
Dawn
December 26th, 2004 at 7:29 pm
Hi Dawn,
I was really fascinated with your story & the movie…has your book been released yet & if not when & where…& what s the title going to be…hope your holidays were great..thanx, Lori
December 27th, 2004 at 12:32 am
hi dawn
enjoyed the movie and had a good time trying to pick out all the familiar people
ted levine was especially interesting since i enjoy watching him on monk
your genuine friendship/relationship with sharon was evident too
please let me know when your book will be coming out
thanks and best wishes for a healthy and happy new year
jerry
December 28th, 2004 at 10:54 pm
Hi Dawn,
I really enjoyed the movie, but sorry it was due to such circumstances for all! You made a comment to an earlier comment that you would really like the feed back on the movie. Well for one you really showed a good lesson to drugs….but how much of that story line is real, and not just Hollywood’s own “personal opionions” tied into the real truth?
January 20th, 2005 at 4:49 pm
I had a similar time in the past, not as harrowing as yours, but I understand about being one crazy boyfriend away from disaster.
I’m really looking forward to your book.
March 19th, 2005 at 10:28 pm
Dawn,
You asked us what we specifically liked about the movie. Of course to me, the movie is not one that I say that I ‘liked’, as it is dark, graphic, and difficult to watch, but I still consider it one of the best movies I have seen, as it fascinates me. I would have easily given it 4-5 stars.
What I liked about the movie is how creatively the story is told, from two different view points, leaving the true version up to the viewer.
There are so many subtle details amongst the not so subtle story line that is amazing. Everytime I watch it, I see something I missed before.
I feel those incredibly talented actors truly gave their ALL in the making of this movie.
I was impressed at how accurate the era was depicted. Starting right off with the HOLLYWOOD sign in terrible disrepairs, the porno business, so raw, to the specific drug use, clothing, cars, etc.
Of course, the vision of a young girl-you- dependant and trusting someone so wordly and streetwise, and how close I was to heading down that same road. I was raised well, but a bit sheltered, and enjoyed the freedom I felt experimenting with drugs, the parties, the ‘fun’, and so oblivious to the dark side until I was caught up in a situtation I was ever so lucky to survive.
Above all, the message this movie sends is one that is an incredible example of the worst that can happen. And how close a young girl came to not making it out and away.
That being said, I do have a question about the movie: Toward the beginning of the movie, in David Lind’s version, John was given $$ to buy drugs, taking the stolen guns to Nash. I was confused as to what John was doing for ‘8′ hours. The movie shows John driving back and forth to Nash’s, going to a woman’s house (which may have been Nash’s), but I’m confused as to what he was actually doing, where he was going, back and forth before returning to Wonderland. Any reply would be appreciated.
K.
April 4th, 2005 at 12:51 pm
First of all I’m a girl not a boy (that’s my yorkie’s name
I consider myself a big movie “buff” but this one came outta nowhere. I don’t remember “hearing” about it when it came out - I love Val Kilmer - so I’m surprised I don’t remember. Actually I may have been out of the country when it came out.
Anyway saw it last night on HBO and have been “googleing” all day various aspects of John Holmes, Sharon Holmes, you etc. Came across this blog.
I had no idea of the murders (can’t give the excuse I was out of the country then!) - but like the poster above, was probably just self absorbed.
I liked the movie and plan on renting it (so I can turn on subtitles) - I missed some of the dialog.
Look forward to your book. You go girl (Sharon too!)
April 5th, 2005 at 8:16 am
Hi Dawn,
I recently saw Wonderland the movie and was surprised to see that you had a website. I think this makes me love the movie even more since you did live happily ever after. Is your book out yet? I am extremely interested in reading it. I was in a similar relationship starting from a young age ,no murder or Porn King but I went through and witnessed some crazy things and had to run away. I hope everything is going well for you and can’t wait to read your book.
Karen
June 18th, 2005 at 8:00 pm
Hi I am trying to trake down your book of the experiences you had with John and Wonderland but im having trouble finding it, I would be gratefull to receive any info you could give me. By the way it is so good to see you doing so much good work Dawn.
July 18th, 2005 at 12:23 pm
Dawn,
Hi! I am 15 years old now just like you were. I just recently watched the Wonderland movie and I loved it. I can’t lie part of it was Val Kilmer because he is so cute but other wise I loved the story behind it, of how a young girl like you ended up in a life like that with a guy like him. i think you are a very brave lady to have lived with that and be able to share and talk about it with other people and most of all still have a happy new life without getting drug into a life you wouldnt have wanted. I plan on buying your book because after that movie i felt like i wanted to know more about you. Even though the movie was about John Holmes and the other people involved i thought that the story about you would be the most interesting because you were just a 15 year old girl like me. It makes me think about the things in my life. You inspire me to be a good person and to not deal with things i shouldnt have to deal with! THANKS!!!
~~~ steph~~~
February 11th, 2006 at 2:01 am
first off i want to say how much of an honor it is to think that you could possibly respond back to what i have to say. of course i loved the move, after i saw it i couldn’t get it out of my mind. days after i was still thinking about you and your relationship w/ john. i related to so many things in the movie . like having a boyfriend who says he loves you and needs you but his love and need for drugs is so much stronger. i loved the fact that you were so young and how much older he was, again same here. but the part that almost brought me to tears was the whole thing about you having to stay in hotels for days even weeks at a time just waiting. I’ve been there and you almost feel as if your going crazy, all cause the love of your life says he’ll be right back. like i said i really loved and related to you in this movie. heres a question for you, do you ever just sit and still think about john aside from the movie and the book? - karissa
May 8th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
I was wondering if you could tell me how surviving the abuse (drugs, alcohol, sex, physical & mental)….has changed your life? I have a very long story but I want go into it all here. My abuse (sexual mostly) started @ the age of 4 and kept on until I was in my early 30’s. The heavy physical abuse started in my teens at the hands of a much older boyfriend. I now have 3 beautiful children (2 girls and 1 boy) and they know my story. I have never held that back from them because I feel that it will help them to avoid the some of the mistakes that I made or at the least help them to make more informed decisions in those types of situations. There was alot of drugs in my life from the time I was 7 until after I turned 35. I tried many times to stop using but was never successful. I am trying once more to do just that. I wanted to just chat and see what you had done to overcome all the obstacles that you lived through. Loved the movie by the way. I never knew he was accused of something so horrible. I was only 11 at that time so that explains why. But I would really love to hear from you and hopefully grow through your experiences. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Rebecca
June 8th, 2006 at 9:23 pm
Dawn,
I was wanting to know if your book is available? I’ve seen Wonderland and I am eager to learn more about the real you. I has some of the similar situations when I was in my teens with the drug and sexual abuse at the hand of an older man. Wonderland is a fascinating movie and it’s remarkable you have become the strong person you are today.
June 13th, 2006 at 11:13 am
I am also trying to find your book. I recently bought the movie because I liked it so much. This is an incredible story and I admire you for being strong enough to get yourself out. I’m very interested in learning the story from your perspective. Thanks.
July 21st, 2006 at 9:02 am
Where would I be able to find a copy of your book (if it’s available yet)?
July 22nd, 2006 at 6:51 am
You are an amazing person. I saw the movie last night. It was amazing & at the same time scarry to see what you went through. You are an inspiriation.
I am so interested in the book. Is it available?
Thanks
Michelle
August 16th, 2006 at 1:30 pm
Dawn, you are an extreamly amazing person. I am really looking forward to your book coming out. I really liked the movie Wonderland it was sad what you had to go through and when you and John drove off at the end I was not to happy but than when I read the end I was very excited, especially when I read that you got away and now have a husband and a daughter. I was reading the above coments and I read the coment about how you are going to tell your daughter about what happened in the past and I just wanted to say I agree with you completely, coming out and being honest is the best thing to do. I am 18 now and my mom would slowly tell me about the dramatic things that had happened to her in the past, I would get upset with her because she wouldnt let me go out late and go to parties like I wanted to, but than after she would explain to me that it wouldnt be because she doesnt trust me and that it is because she doesnt trust what would happen to me. Than she would tell me what she had been trhough in the past and explain to me that that was why she would not allow me to do certain things. I understood completely, my moms past prevented me from going through what she had went through. When she explained to me what had happened to her in the past I would get a upset about hearing how something so bad could have happened to my mom, but I looked over it and realized, gee…she is one strong woman! I feel as though her stories have saved my life. You are a strong woman too, after watching that movie, my heart really goes out to you and your family, I am just so happy I came acrossed this website and read about how well your life is going now. I hope you keep on having a beautiful life with your husband and daughter. ~*Crystal
October 23rd, 2006 at 3:59 am
hello dawn i write from rome europe i see the movie wonderland and i think you a wonderful women
i would know if you finish book and if it is to found in italy
thank you
you are great
i spend a lot of time to search some of you book but i nopt fond nothing
ciao
god blesss you
October 28th, 2006 at 6:26 pm
Hi Dawn. Any word on when your book will be out? I can’t wait to read it.
June 18th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
Dear Dawn,
First many blessings to you and your family. I am a social worker for dual diagnosed people with drug addictions and mental impairments that are on probation or parole..It gets very frustrating at times to see those that relapse, not wanting to follow thru with their treatment. But then it is very rewarding if I just get to see one person graduate from our program. I can only imagine the many feelings you endure doing the same type of work with your husband. Boy do you have a story to tell! Many Kudos.
When Wonderland first came out on HBO, it was difficult to watch the whole movie due to being so graphic. I was pregnant and very emotional and it caused me nightmares. Three years later, I finally got to watch the whole thing. (Although I did recommend it to many friends for the last 3 yrs and they did call it a superb movie.) It has to be one of my top 5 best movies I have ever seen! It kept me seated and interested through out the whole 2 hours of it …did I mention my Adult deficit disorder and inability to stay focus if it bores me!
One question: due to the ratings of this movie I am unable to share it with my clients or in grp settings, are there any type of documentaries or “support” type of films you can share telling your story of course. Some are able to focus and read your book but most are not. Thanks for any assistance. And again many blessing to you and yours..