Check it out!
The amazing piece of art that graces the heading of this site, is a cropped section of a massive collage created by Val Kilmer and Ali Alborzi. It consists mainly of many different photos that were taken during the filming of Wonderland.
This piece is also one of my favorites and without a doubt the most cathartic for me. It is called, “I’m So Sorry”, aptly named because the entire thing is covered with the words “I’m sorry”. Transformed through Val and Ali’s eyes, the familiar visual images of my past, and those simple words engulf me in a powerful way. To me, for as long as this art exists, John’s image will be offering his apologies and like a divine gift from beyond the grave, my heart is given a great measure of solace.
Thank you Val and Ali! You are good people.
Dawn
October 4th, 2004 at 11:12 am
Hi Dawn, This is a amazing piece of art. I would like to see what the whole thing looks like. You gave me Mr. Kilmer website address but it doesnt work on my computer. I was very intrested in why he took the role of John in wonderland and Jim in the doors. Maybe you could pass along my question. If not thats okay. Hope you are well. Lots of love
Lesley
October 5th, 2004 at 9:17 am
Hello!
What I know about Mr. Kilmer’s website is that it is still under construction, expected to be fully functional very soon. Val and Ali’s artwork is amazing, I agree, and I believe there are over two hundred pieces completed, if not more. I can also guarantee you they are all emotional, challenging and deeply thought provoking. It is my hope, as this site grows and Val’s site is more accessible, that there will be more information about the artwork. Recently, the collection of art has returned from a showing in Japan and prior to that, Europe. I believe there are more shows planned for the future and will try to find out the schedule for posting here. The truly great news is that Val and Ali both, from the very beginning, have given me permission to include my choice of the art for the insert of my book and I have already spent hours choosing the images that represent my thoughts and words the best.
As far as why Val decided to play the role of Jim Morrison, I have never asked him, but his decision to play John was, in his own words, because of the love. He understood how John could love someone like me and want to keep me, to the best of his broken ability, safe. I know “the love” was the basic thrust of understanding for Val and the challenge for him was to try to comprehend a character that was out of control and ultimately betrayed everyone, including himself.
Kudos to Val for a great job.
Dawn
October 13th, 2004 at 6:39 pm
I have just seen Wonderland. I was truly saddened by the brutality and by your experience. The work I have done with victims of drug, physical and emotional abuse never seems to prepare me for the next horror story. Thank you for taking the awful experience you had as a young woman and creating something possitive out of the ashes.
October 16th, 2004 at 10:39 am
Thanks Crissy,
I should say to you how wonderful it is that you give of your time to help others who experience such devastation. Abuse infiltrates uncountable layers of a person’s being and healing is a process that doesn’t come overnight. Victims need others to be there…gently available when they reach out for help to become the whole person they are meant to be. Thank you for taking the time to be one of those people. It matters.
Blessings,
Dawn
October 20th, 2004 at 11:20 am
Hey Dawn,
Artwork is great. Gosh, I didn’t think Val Kilmer had it in him! HA!HA! Since he has been a favorite actor of mine since “The Doors”. That would be one reason I wanted to see Wonderland. If the actors would of sucked I would have never watched it. They all did a great job. I teach Drama at a high school, so I try to watch as much good acting as possible. But I am rambling now. Thanks for writing me back yesterday! I think I will a regular.
Ami:)
December 14th, 2004 at 9:46 pm
I just recently watched the movie”Wonderland” and was shocked and saddened. I send praises and gratitude heavenward for the path your life has taken. Thankyou for sharing the healing with all of us who know who we are.
December 15th, 2004 at 10:30 pm
Dawn your life experience shown delicately yet powerfully through the film, “Wonderland” brought me my own personal sense of power and independence as a young woman myself. I was truly awakened by your history and now, by your inspirational and powerful words. I hope to see so much more from you not only through film and tv, but through your life’s events - that are selfless and show real truth. I would love to learn more about what you’ve seen and done, and how its affected your life now as well. Immense thanks, truly.
November 24th, 2005 at 1:48 pm
Hello Dawn,
I am new to this site and like so many others I want to commend you on your personal triumph and ability to maintain through your faith, through the love of family and friends, and through the impact of guardian angels. As a fellow human being who has also struggled, I am proud of you. It’s interesting how the circle of life is inter-connected.
I want to share a little bit about my own story. For many years, I’ve been a fan of actor Robert Downey Jr. Much has been widely publicized about Downey’s mishaps as he has battled demons/drugs/alcohol throughout much of his life. He has done this in the public eye. The good news is in recent years Downey has worked diligently toward getting his life back on track and he is succeeding. (In August of this year he married a very together, beautiful and supportive woman in the film industry.) You may already be aware of this, Dawn, but recently Val Kilmer and RDJ made a wonderful comedy/film noir movie together. It’s called “Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang”. According to many recent interviews, through their work on the film, Kilmer and Downey have since become close friends. (They had met years ago, but did not hit it off. Mostly due to Downey’s off putting behaviour as a result of his addiction.) I have read a lot about Val Kilmer through my interest in Downey and have found him to be a genuine and peaceful person like yourself. His concern for humanity is touching and he is a terrific role model. Visiting his website, inevitably brought me to watch the “Wonderland”/”Holmes” films. (Now I find myself writing a note on your site.) I am not surprised to learn you admire Val Kilmer very much, Dawn. Nor am I surprised he has been a great source of encouragement for you.
This week I purchased a piece of his “Wonderland” art from the VK website. I admire and respect the message Val wrote explaining why he was making this unique art available to people. I also very much like what you have written here regarding Val’s desire to understand John Holmes, prompting his decision to portray him in the movie because of “the love”.
I can’t speak about your life, Dawn, because I do not know you, only what I’ve learned very recently. I hope it’s okay to say I find the primary story of the three intertwined relationships to be a fascinating character study. You, Sharon and John. In spite of the massive pain involved and endured. In the accompanying video to “Wonderland”, “The Life and Times of John Holmes”, Sharon Holmes spoke very specifically about the severe emotional/physical and psychological abuse John suffered as a child at the hands of his own father, and then later by his step father. By no means does this knowledge excuse his behaviour. As grownups we make choices every day, but as an ‘Adult Child of an Alcoholic’ like myself, it does help to lend some insight so people can perhaps comprehend and maybe better understand the complexities of Holmes’ duplicitous nature. (And those like him.) The combination of pent up anger stemming from an abusive and neglectful childhood, coupled with chemicals and low self esteem, is a frightening prescription for toxicity. Eventually it manifested itself within him once he became an adult. (Not to mention the influence of the added sleaze he became entrenched in that defined the underbelly of LA. during the 70s/80s. I don’t know that it’s changed all that much.) It also caused him to displace that pain/anger/frustration onto those closest to him. (As you well know, you were young and innocent back then, Dawn. Teenagers seek love and belonging above all else. I know because I did the same.) I have to wonder if Val Kilmer considered all of this when he took on the role of John Holmes?
It’s funny… as painful as my own childhood was due to my father’s alcoholism, the first thing I did once I left home at age 18 was to hook up with a guy very much like my father. Years later and after becoming a parent myself I learned through counselling, this is a very natural step for so many who grow up in sick family systems. We desire to seek out what we know. What makes us feel comfortable. At least, that became true for me. Interestingly enough, the guy I hooked up with is currently my husband of 27 years and the father of our two children. I’m proud to say he’s been drug and alcohol free for 16 of those years. Miracles do happen but in the end he was the one who made the decision to stop. There was nothing I could do or say to convince him to change his life until he was ready. It makes my heart break for those who do not possess the strength.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is my own problematic childhood has somehow brought me to your website. From the caring wisdom of your entries and the kind responses you’ve written to others, along with what I learned about you from having watched the films, I have nothing but admiration for you, Dawn. You are doing the right thing by sharing with others your pain and your joy in the form of your upcoming book and also here in this special place. It’s like you intimated… we do not know the magnitude of joy without experiencing the depths of pain. Keep on plugging away and know that you are supported as we cheer you on. I will leave you with a few words Downey received once in a letter from a fan while he was incarcerated. “Consider yourself hugged.” That goes double for you. Have a great day.
)
November 28th, 2005 at 4:30 pm
Dear Sarah,
I know what you mean by it does not excuse John’s abusive behavior because of his childhood, my husband also suffered an abusive childhood and he was bacically on his own from the time he was 11 years old. He saw his father beat on his mother and his father also beat on him and he swore he would never treat his wife or children that way and I can honestly say he has never has laid a hand on me and he is very great with children they love him. We have been married for 10 years and I myself am infertile and I will never be able to have children but I know that he would make a great father and he would not have repeated the cycle with our children if we would have been blessed enough to have them. I just felt compelled to write you after reading your comment to Dawn.
Sincerely,
Printess