A Great Speech!
Recently I watched Mystic River, putting it off for months after it’s initial release. From the previews I knew it would be an emotionally painful movie…I had no idea.
From the start of the movie I was uneasy…I could tell… For someone like me it was a given. With dreaded anticipation of what I knew was bound to come, I alternated with sitting and watching the screen through a couch pillow and running into the kitchen with shouts to my husband to call me when the murder scene was over.
“Oh my God!” I yelled out, “I can’t believe I’m watching this movie!” I circled the wooden floor, pacing like a caged animal. The mortifyingly cruel injustice Tim Robbins character was subjected to, scorched my senses. ‘This is a fictious story’, I kept telling myself, but my gut knew better. What my gut knew, was the terrible pain of the scars of a victim and the double-edged dagger of being misunderstood to the point of persecution. Wow! This movie really pulled my triggers.
When my husband finally called me back into the room, I was emotionally drained. I don’t remember what I did next, probably ate a big bowl of ice cream, but I know I wanted to forget…forget the emotions this movie had stirred in me.
Then, only a few weeks later, a quote from a poster named “Joe”, caught my eye and my heart. It is beautiful, and because it had such a warming effect on me, I wanted to share it with everyone at the top of this weblog.
“I always thought this Oscar acceptance speech (for “Mystic River”) by actor Tim Robbins had a great message for abused people: “In this movie, I play a victim of abuse and violence and if you are out there and are a person that has – had that tragedy befall you, there is no shame and no weakness in seeking help and counseling. It is sometimes the strongest thing that you can do to stop the cycle of violence. Thank you.â€
Wholeheartly I agree. For me there was no other way out of that hell. And I am out, I know it. Come to think of it, that bowl of ice cream wasn’t as big as I thought it was anyway.
Thanks Joe, for sharing.
Dawn
November 17th, 2004 at 6:06 pm
It is great to have you posting again. Your writing skills and ability to express yourself are as usual excellent. I am not sure why you made yourself endure Mystic River, but I do know how much courage it took and how well you handled it. Thank you for bringing this inspiring message of Tim Robbins to all of us again.
November 17th, 2004 at 10:51 pm
Dawn, I’d like to hear more about your life after the Joyhn days. Would it be too much to ask for a time capsule of your life from the 80’s to prersent day. You’re quite the survivor. I admire you’re strength.
MJ
November 19th, 2004 at 6:25 pm
Will you aks Val to play John if your book gets turned in to another movie? Are you or Sharon helping anyone else out with their research or books, and if not, are you willing to? I would love to see Val play John again if he is willing.
November 19th, 2004 at 10:36 pm
Hi MJ,
You know, I don’t mind giving some of the details of my life after the John days, and if you go to the section marked bio on this site, you will get a brief overview. As for further details, again, the book will reveal alot and I need to wait until the final stages of publishing.
Thanks for your patience and understanding. I hope that some of the writing on this log will be something that you feel worth reading.
Blessings,
Dawn
November 20th, 2004 at 12:31 am
Hi Charlotte,
Whether there is a media future with my book or not, I don’t know, that is probably up to how well the book does. As it stands though, I can tell you that Val is a huge support for the book and he knows that I completely give him creative license with my story. Val has been a major guiding force in my writing. He has gone above and beyond to show his appreciation and respect for me and we share in the desire to offer a measure of help for others. His support has been truly appreciated and a great blessing.
Whether or not Sharon or I are helping anyone else with stories, I can give you a direct quote from Sharon as of last night when we spoke…. “I am absolutely not interested in retelling any more of my story to anyone with the exception of Dawn’s book. Dawn is the only one who can tell my/our story with the accuracy it deserves. Other than that, I am happy to be done with it.”
As for whether I’m helping anyone? Not that I am aware of, although I do understand that people tend to take bits and pieces of articles, quotes, etc. and create their own truths. But it is easy to spot these. I probably wouldn’t mind a legitimate request, but it would have to be legitimate.
Thanks.
Dawn
November 24th, 2004 at 11:50 am
Speaking of “Mystic River” I thought it was a great movie the one thing I didn’t like was that monologue that Laura Linney has at the end when she’s talking about Sean Penn being a king. It just seemed a little out of place. But overall it was a great film.
December 8th, 2004 at 8:13 pm
Dawn,
Do you have more pictures posted here on your website somewhere? If not, do you plan on posting more?
December 9th, 2004 at 4:02 pm
No other pictures yet, but there should be a few more in a week or so. There are very specific photos that I am saving for the book though!
Thanks,
Dawn
December 23rd, 2004 at 12:41 am
Hi, I have been thinking about what I want to post first and where I should post it. I chose to go under the topic of Violence because I am a victim of Domestic Violence myself and relate to Dawn’s story. It is very close to my own. As I have read it is not such a unique story. I too got hooked on drugs (cocaine) at a young age (15) I left home and started a trail of Abusive Relationships with a viraity of men. I was scared to be alone. I felt atleast he knows I am here (everytime I got hit that was my excause). I came from an upper middle class family with no real physical abuse. (but a ton of mental abuse) I could just go on and on and on about my story it is worse then some and better then others. What brings my story so close to Dawn’s is the waiting, the waiting in the hotels, the waiting in the cars, infront of gas stations, restraunts, at parks all over; in the cold, when it was hot, in the rain. It didn’t matter he didn’t care and I was stupid enough to believe him. He was no “Porn King” but he did run the drugs to pay for his habit and dish out just enough to keep me form complaining. He kept me from my family and my friends and to this day I am leary of people and have a hard time trusting and making friends. He beat me when he saw fit which was daily for any reason. He even once whipped me with a belt with no shirt. But I stayed; I stayed for over 2 years and then when he left me for another woman I cried and cried and cried like I was going to die!!! Like I was going to die because he was gone. Now what stands out to me in “Wonderland” is not the shadow of his hand coming down it is the “LOOK” we all know the “LOOK” when they get out of the car he looks over at her and she knows, she know what is comming she walks around the car and into the hotel and the “LOOK” is there. Even though you have done everything he wanted he is still not happy. That is what got me then I saw her in the tub with the black eyes I knew what I thought was right. That “LOOK” is something I will never forget although I thought I had. I am 34 years old now and have been in a healthy relationship with a good man since 1995. I consider myself one of the lucky ones and Thank God everynight for letting me live through my HELL and sending me my husband. I want to say to any person out there who is in an Abusive relationship to be strong and find help don’t be ashamed it is not your fault reachout and let someone help you. I have other things I want to post and will do so as time goes on this took me days to do I sit here crying remembering things I thought I had hid long ago. I knew who John was and I knew of the Wonderland Murders and that he was involved. I also knew of his abuse to you Dawn… I thought the movie was great and am glad that they didn’t show more of HIS Abuse towards you I enjoyed seeing his gentler side the person whom you fell in love with that is what helped me see him as being real. I look foreward to your book and will be one of the first in-line when it comes out.
Marie Trevino
December 23rd, 2004 at 11:58 am
Hello Marie,
My heart goes out to you — I certainly understand the tears. Funny how a specific memory can strike a chord that brings all the emotions flooding back. The good news is that for me today I am not afraid of any of my memories, even though I still feel them deeply. I think sometimes about what it would be like to not have such painful memories, but I let the thought go just as quickly as it comes because I know that is just not who I am and there is nothing I can do to change the past. I am okay with that. I am not sad by who I am, or ashamed or resentful. If I start to feel a bit sorry for myself, I quickly turn it around to see what good can come of my experiences. There is volunteer work, counseling, etc. But mainly there is awareness. Perhaps people like us are meant to be attentive to the voices around us that could possibly need our very specific help. One very obvious thought is that I don’t have to re-live the pain. I can look at it and still live in today…safe, happy and surrounded by wonderful people. I am so glad that you have someone in your life now that treats you well. Another thing my past gave me was a greater sense of who I am and how, as a human being, I matter. Yes, I understand the “LOOK”. It came in stages as well. The LOOK was another means of control that caused me to walk on eggshells, hoping beyond hope that John’s rage would go away. It never did. But you know the routine…
Thank you for your brave and in depth comment about yourself. Stay safe within yourself and know that just because you were mistreated by a sick individual in the past, it has NOTHING to do with how valuable you are in this world.
Blessings,
Dawn
November 7th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Hi Dawn ..
Do you have a pics with John Holmes ?!
Lilia
November 7th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
please see http://www.theroadthroughwonderland.com