Comments on: Went to a funeral today….

By: Jerry Anglin

Jerry Anglin — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 05:50:23 +0000

I prefer to receive notice about the book via snail mail. Thank you.

Jerry Anglin
2586 Oro Quincy Rd
Oroville, CA 95966

DAWN I JUSTED FINISHED WATCHING WONDERLAND FOR THE FIRST TIME YOU MUST BE AN AMAZINGLY STRONG WOMAN PLEASE NOTIFY ME WHEN YOUR BOOK RELEASE IS SET I WOULD BE WILLING TO PAY MORE FOR A SIGNED COPY IF IT WILL BE AVAILABLE ON YOUR SITE ALL MY BEST TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY JERRY

By: cherie caradonna

cherie caradonna — Mon, 13 Feb 2006 07:18:02 +0000

I would just like to say im sorry for your loss,April 7th will be one year since I lost my husband Jeff to drugs.I have 2 older kids that he was a great step dad to,allso our daughter was 2 when he passed.I think it sucks that we were cheated out of our time with him,but the only thing we can do is try to make shure it doesnt happen again.I have changed allot of things in the past year and i try not to cry.My friends and I talk about him allot that seems to make it easier.I guess all one can do is “keep on keepin on” goodluck and chin up to anyone out there that is suffering through the loss of a loved on,it does get easier

By: April E.

April E. — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 22:12:13 +0000

Hello Dawn,
I turned 8-years old in August of 1981. I had a great birthday that year. I remember being a majorette and having a team party. Unfortunately, I had not yet realize the year 1981 would be forever erased from my memory.
On December 5, 1981, my father & I were watching my 3-year old brother. My dad said, “You know…’ and stopped. My father was having a heart attack, and he was trying to talk to me. He died. I will never know what he was trying to tell me. I KNOW the event took only about 30 seconds. I do not remember . . .. ..

Many years of my life passed before I realized that the cognitive mind of an eight-year old would not comprehend such an event. Therefore, the mind will not allow you to remember anything but the traumatic events you wish, pray, and hope to forget.

As I grew older, I lost all stability in my life. I lost more time, memories were not created, and I found solitude through the path of least resistance. The one which steals your friends, hobbies, surroundings. For many years, an inexplicible anxiety lingered. Being lost inside yourself is torturous. Watching others die while they try to escape is equally distressing.

I have lost many friends to drugs. While at their euology, I have watched other friends fade… . .. if they had not already completely faded. Their functioning, hollowed souls are tattered and worn. I am sorry you have felt this sadness. I have been one of these souls, emotionally tortured and seeking escape.

Finally, I made it. YOU have made it also. My heart goes to you. I also have hope for anyone who may not see a path toward hope.

By the way, I am now able to asses the events of 1981. I REMEMBER watching the news one evening with my father. Tom Chancelor said that four people were killed in a horrifically brutal manner and only one person survived. The news debated whether or not someone was involved.

I asked my dad how someone could murder and not be involved? He told me that if you are rich and powerful enough you can convince people of the inconcievable. I DO remember. I finally remembered.

When I saw the movie, I remembered even more. Unfortunately, my memories of 1981 are about death. I am sorry my blog is so long. My selective memory of 1981 is very ironic.

Thank you for allowing me to share. If you could email me, I would be grateful.~ae

By: kay

kay — Tue, 06 Sep 2005 16:41:45 +0000

I just saw the movie Wonderland on HBO, at the end it says Dawn is writing a book. What is the update on that. I was really touched by the movie and would like to know more.

By: Keli

Keli — Tue, 23 Aug 2005 10:02:21 +0000

Hi Dawn,
It’s me Keli. For some reason I feel drawn toy our website. I think it is helping me, I can’t quite explain it but it is. I had a weird day that struck me as odd. A friend told me that she had acted out by using drugs because her husband was MIA, I told her that I would rather her call me to go do something positive with her instead. I also stated to her that as long as she was using that I could not be around her. It makes me want to use again and let me tell you how hard it was for me to not ask her for it.. You said this site is safe here right? I am really nervous. I know things about someone that are not right to keep from the autorities, but I am scared to death of what might become of me if I tell. What do I do? I have a family to protect that has NO idea what I am dealing with internally. I don’t know, maybe all this writing about it is actually causing more harm than good. I still can’t find your book. I really want to read this material. I hope I am not bothering or creating drama for anyone who reads on this site. I know no one wants to hear my sob story, so I appologize immensely for it. I just feel safe here. If I am bothering people please just let me know and I will go away just like my friends did. Maybe your book will help to calm these feelings of past destruction. Once again I would like to thank you in advance for all of your hard work on the book and of coarse the words of encouragement. I hope to hear from you soon. By the way, how is Sharon doing? From the movie and what you have stated I just want to love her too.

Thanks for listening,
Keli

By: amber

amber — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 21:58:52 +0000

dawn,
I know how hard it is to lose someone to drugs, aids, and the hardest part for me is to forgive myself as well as the one who died.We all knew better. Count yorself very blessed to get thruogh this and onto a “normal” life such as it is. Nothing against you Dawn, but if you had died from an overdose you would have been forgotten by all except for those who loved you.I just wish that everyone could have the compassion of those who have responded to you.My best friend got caught up along with me in xanax and hydrocodone.Most of my friends are either dead or in prison.Noone gives them a second thought except for loved ones. At my friends funeral the preacher said that she was a lost cause and that everyone needed to change or we would be like her, dead.How wrong he was. She would still be here maybe if someone gave a damn.Lucky for me, my brither knew i was in trouble and had me get out of south fla. and detox. Is not easy. I still want to get high, but i will not do that to my kids.i have been clean for16 months now!! I have left a 18 year abusive marriage and found a whole new life with my girlfriend of 5 years.Please continue your journey for the women who feel they are trapped in this web of drugs & abuse.Thank you Dawn.
Amber

By: camila

camila — Mon, 23 May 2005 02:52:48 +0000

hi dawn,im from brasil and watched a movie yesterday that tells john holmes story and i decide look more about you specially knowing you just wrote a book and im very interest in read…from the movie i could feel a little about your life and hopeless at the time and seeing in this site how you are doing today keeps me believe in life and how stronger people like you, has a lot to show and teach all of us….congratulation for all you´ve been doing and for the hopes you are bring in this world…......wish you the best and all the happiness you can have…love ,camila

By: Lauretta Ali

Lauretta Ali — Sat, 30 Apr 2005 18:24:11 +0000

As a survivor of physical and sexual abuse during my stay in the 1950’s foster care system, I can relate to the pain of abuse survivors. Yet, I must say I do admire the strength and just plain goodness of John Holmes’ wife. She is still friends with someone who was sleeping with her husband? Unbelievable. Now this is a woman who needs a bushel of flowers. Dawn, you are blessed that this woman is your friend. How painful this must’ve been for her. I am not making little of your pain. You were just a child when he came into your life. Just as I was just a child when my son’s dad came into my life. Yet, he was single. I can only imagine how hurt John’s wife was at that time. I guess we can only say that John never got away with murder as he surely died young. I am pleased that you met a good man and had a great life, Dawn. Peace and love always. I sure wish I could send some love to John’s wife. Dawn, you know,she sure deserves it.

By: aaron

aaron — Thu, 28 Apr 2005 11:10:05 +0000

I just saw wonderland on hbo… very powerful movie. despite the abuse, would you say that you still miss your life with John? watching the movie, the viewer becomes very attached to your relationship with John

By: Dawn

Dawn — Sun, 24 Apr 2005 06:10:25 +0000

Hello, Thanks for sharing your stories. You are all amazing! We always have to look for the blessing in even the saddest moments. Walking through the pain, as some of you mentioned, can be strangely enough, a true blessing as well.

And Marie…you are great. I have found for me that one of the best things that helped my depression, almost miraculously, has been regular exercise. As hard as that can be to do, it worked so well for me, I had to do it. Today, I am a member of a gym and go four days a week, to the best of my ability.

Take care all and thanks for sharing your moments with me.

Blessings Always,
Dawn