Dear Readers,

Finally, I’ve had several days around Christmas and New Year to have a life with my daughter. Time off from work, charities, writing, school, business. My daughter and I spent a great Christmas. She got way more presents than she probably should have, but that’s what happens when you survive a near death experience so recently. I love, love, love her and I dedicated almost all of my free time to her. Santa came and it was magical. She still thinks I must not have been such a good girl cause Santa didn’t leave me anything. But I tell her Santa gave me the best present I could ever hope for….her…alive and whole. She understands and I tease her and ask her if Santa should have wrapped her in paper and put a bow on her head? We laugh. I am happy. Sorry readers if my posts are full of sentimental silliness, but my life revolves around an eight year old and my sense of humor, timing and priorities are elementary school second grade level and I relish all of it.

2008 promises to be an outstanding year….. I am looking towards the light and reaching for my dreams. May this year be the best year ever for all of you. Love, Light, Health, Happiness and Prosperity!

Dawn

Hello all,

Tonight, after winding down from the holidays, I have found a bit of time to view over my blog which I have so neglected in this last year. Really I have spent the last hour or so looking over all of the posts that I have not had the time to reply to, posts where so many of you have poured your hearts out to me and this public board about your own personal experiences with pain and tragedy. Bless you. I am so overwhelmed and touched by your stories…and thankful that you spent some of your own precious time to write to me. Thank you for telling me about your own stories of recovery and survival. I respect you all more than I can express.

I am, of course, over the top grateful for my daughter’s wonderful recovery this Thanksgiving and everyday and find myself often looking up at the sky and saying out loud, “Dear God, Spirit, Creator. Just in case you don’t know how grateful I am for my daughter’s life. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Every cell in my body says thank you.” This might sound silly, but I really don’t care. Because I realize how close I was to losing her and how completely dark my life would forever have been had she not survived.

I want to catch everyone up with all the events I have been a part of with regard to standing up against domestic violence. As a member of the board for my local shelter, I have been a part of hugely successful Blues fund-raiser on October 6th with a good friend, Jimmy Lloyd Rae, an icon in our area who has played with BB King all the legendary Blues players. I will post later this week on that great evening. Also, I have been asked to join the President’s Commission on the Status of Women at my local university and will begin to launch the gathering of nominations for our Women of Courage award.

Like I said, more on these and other great events and people later. It is getting late and I wanted to post a Thanksgiving update to you all.

More to you all soon.

Peace,

Dawn

Dear readers and friends,

As much as I wanted to keep this part of my life private, because of the happy outcome I want to share this with you now.

On October 14th, a beautiful Sunday, my daughter, myself and our new special friend spent the day flying ultralight aircrafts with the birds soaring over the colorful leaves of Autumn. Our afternoon was slated to feast on salmon with more friends and their children and with two other sets of parents found the perfect opportunity to sit a six year old, a three year old and my daughter, Jade, a seven year old (who is an experienced rider) on a beautiful and gentle Appaloosa horse for pictures. The pictures were great. The girls laughing and flashing peace signs, proud as we laughed at their funny faces for the camera. We were done and ready to get the salmon cooking. A strong father and cameraman took his three year old off of the horse first…turned for a moment to set her down preparing to help the other two girls next…and was startled to see from the corner of his eye that the horse suddenly took off to run to his buddy across the field.

The six year old lost her balance first, as my daughter Jade held onto the mane and squeezed with her legs to stay on. The weight of the six year old was too much and as she toppled she pulled my Jade down too landing on her. She had the wind knocked out of her and sat in the field, her eyes large trying to catch her breath. Jade lay motionless next to her. I couldn’t run fast enough to my girl…others were already trying to talk to her. I placed my body over her and spoke into her ear. “Jade…this is Mom. I need you to remember all the things I told you about good things. Remember the light.” She groaned an “uh huh” and her eyes rolled, dazed. She groaned some more and began to writhe in pain. I wrapped my arms around her head, to keep her still, and my hand landed into the pool of blood that had been oozing out of the back of her skull.

“We have a head injury!!!” I screamed and in an instant I was lifted with Jade still in my arms into the back of a car and raced to our small town emergency room. The description of the ER team stabilizing her, with IV’s, neck braces and log rolls when the vomiting started is mixed with my Jade screaming in pain and passing out. When I walked with the doctor to the CAT Scan room I knew from the doctor’s clutching fists on the desk as she read the scan that the news was grim. She turned to me and said “come with me…she has a skull fracture…we have to get her to a neurosurgeon right away.” I slide down the hospital room wall and wanted to throw up.

“Doernbecher’s Children’s Hospital in Portland is sending PANDA. Their pediatric trauma aircraft to transport her to Portland.” Three hours later the plane arrived at the airport where the ambulance transported us and took us on another hour plus to the waiting trauma team. “She has a decompressed skull fracture with a ping-pong ball size portion pushing into her brain. We need to do surgery right away.” At five am on Monday, October 15th, I walked my daughter into surgery and waited. Three plus hours later she returns. Dr. Guiliame, a wonderful man, spoke to me about what they found. “We decompressed her skull. A piece of bone did puncture an artery in her brain. It did not bleed out until we went in for surgery, which is a very good thing. The portion of the brain that is affected is small and does not control any function that another part of the brain cannot direct in its place. In other words, barring any unforeseen complications and smooth recovery from surgery, she should be 100 percent neurologically.”

On October 22nd we came home from the hospital. So many prayers, loved ones good wishes, baskets of bananas and clean underwear for me. Dear friends who made me go and eat healthy, took care of my Chihuahua at home, paid my bills, brought me coffee, sent flowers, wrote cards, drew pictures and penned poems. Our special friend came to stay at the hospital and take us home with sweet doggies in the car for company. So many of you let me know you were there for me and told me that it was okay to lay my head on your shoulders and reach out for help, because you reminded me that I have helped so many of you and you appreciated me. Thank you. You touched my soul.

Tonight Jade went trick or treating wearing a long black wig partly because it matches her vampire costume and partly because it covers the healing 14o stitches that hold down two titanium plates that help her skull heal. I have had my prayers answered this month, above everything, I have been given the greatest gift…my daughter. And an awakening of all the loving people in my life. I love you all…enormously. Absolute Love.

My heart to yours,

Dawn

Hey everyone.

First, thanks for all the inquiries for the book. I have been so thrilled to have great comments to read lately. Thank you. I’d like to start a mailing list for anyone who is interested for advanced notice, etc. for the book. If you want you can leave your info under the comments, that way I know who is definately interested. If not you can add yourself as a user on this blog.

Peace and blessings to you all.

Dawn

Hello all.

First let me say thanks to everyone who has posted and requested to put on a mailing list, we are still taking names if you want to be added.

Now for an update. By a serendipitous stroke of timing I have a new agent and she has me on task in the best possible way. Tying up details for the book and the never ending polishing it requires kept me busy these past summer months. But this year I did it mostly off the grid, near local pristine rivers, lakes and in the beautiful forests that blanket the mountains I call sanctuary. With my daughter by my side and good friends, I couldn’t have asked for more.

School starts tomorrow for my little girl and I’m not sure I’m ready for her to move to second grade. This last weekend before school we spent together at the local hot springs where I presented her with a small necklace; a gift as a rite of passage to honor her growth and change. I do it every year and in my heart, I quietly grieve a little as a part of her leaves me and I say a thank you for the time we had.

Our summer has been a wonderful blur and I don’t want the warm weather to leave anytime soon either, but we have new adventures and many more beautiful memories to explore…and the book has never looked more promising.

I hope your summer has been wonderful. Again, thanks for your support.

Dawn

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It is time to share some of what has kept me busy since last summer and part of the reason why I haven’t had time to post. Sharon Holmes has moved in to live with me. My daughter Jade gave up her room so she could be comfortable. Here is a photo from Christmas morning. We gave Sharon a new hat among other gifts. Sharon has been sick you see and this day was a good day.

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers….. No matter what the past, when you are sick and have no one you do the right thing.

All your best wishes are well received.

Blessings,
Dawn

Okay. Let it be known that I love my friends, and when they do or are a part of something wonderful, I tell everyone. Here is another great example of wonderful. My friend, Sally Anthony, is not only a dear friend, but an awesome artist and advocate. She is behind a new website for indie artists that gives an artist a chance to get their music out there with some of the top names in the business. It is My Pearl Girl, (http://www.mypearlgirl.com).

Check it out and sign up. You can win awesome prizes and alot more. And if you win something, or get your name in lights, let me know. This is an opportunity for talent to shine. An opportunity not always afforded by the industry. Take a step to make your dreams come true and check out My Pearl Girl. You never know……

Blessings,

Dawn

Hi everyone. Below is a quick blurb and link to Volvo for Life Awards, for you to vote for your favorite hero. I promise to post on other things soon, but for now you have only until the end of January to vote for your state and/or favorite hero. If you don’t have a favorite, I would like to give a shout out for my friend Paula Lucas. She is a nominee for the state of Oregon and runs the only international domestic violence hotline for Americans overseas. Whatever you decide please VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!

Blessings to you all!
Dawn
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I know it has been August since I posted and I apologize. I think the first thing that happened was I got busier with the book. So, for anyone who is interested, the book is still a “go”. I know some of you have been frustrated, I apologize, but I am told it is best to simply say the book is coming. Please know that the book, aside from my family, is first and foremost in my life.

Several other things have happened. I have continued to be actively involved with my local shelter, marching in October in the parade against domestic violence and manning the hotline every month. In September I welcomed an ailing friend into my home and have spent many hours getting her settled. Then the holidays. With a wonderful seven year old in the house, I have tried to keep my priorities straight. Time with her is the most important blessing to me. Santa came with lots of presents and she and I huddled in bed the night before certain that we heard his sleigh on the roof along with the hoofs of the reindeer. She even told me she could hear “ho, ho, ho” from a distance on the wind. She is awesome.

There also has been a few negative things. Nasty, mean and rude comments on this blog came last month and the month before. Things like this: “To all you dumbass battered women out there who stick around to have some man beat her you are all fucking fools and should be beaten to death.” This is a direct quote from a very sick person, and enough to make me shy away from this blog. I wondered what the point of sharing so much online is.

So, friends…… Gotta run. Happy Holidays. Blessings to you all. Love Dawn

Hey Everyone,

I know, it has been awhile. There is lots of good news and lots of tough roads to navigate. Since the tough aspects are too personal, I will share the good stuff! Can’t go wrong with that!

Last month was an eye opener. I attended my very first National Coalition Against Domestic Violence conference (NCADV) in Atlanta. It was an intense five days of workshops, pleanaries, networking and caucus events. It has been a long time since I have told my story to so many people in one short time period. I think the last time was to the police those many years ago. It was also overwhelming to hear other women’s stories. Terrible accounts of being stabbed, shot, children murdered before their eyes, neighbors murdered who tried to jump in to rescue…..and the list goes on. I know I had seen many of the attendees on shows like Oprah, but they were not there to talk about any kind of ill won fame. They were there to share their experience and offer inspiration and education.

Attendees filtered off into groups that they identified with and when I looked around for the place that I would fit in, a group that I never thought in my life I would feel like a member of had their door open and waiting for me -The Battered and Formerly Battered. Why I never thought myself a part of “them”, well, there are probably still many reasons, but I walked through the large double doors anyway and looked at the number I had been assigned - table number 4 - and sat down. Immediately I knew I belonged. Sweet, kind, caring women from all walks of life and at every stage of healing from their abuse shared with each other their experience, strength and hope. We got creative and we listened. When one of us broke down to cry, we offered an unparalled shoulder of understanding and cried together. We reinvented the wheel (the Power and Control wheel) and taught each other about diversity and new respect. And at the end we issued a statement of union. It is posted on the NCADV website (NCADV.org) and it goes like this:

In order for the domestic violence movement to facilitate effective and positive social change in our society, it is imperative that Battered and Formerly Battered Women have a clear presence and a loud voice to direct and guide this movement. We have a commitment to provide compassionate, respectful support to the women we serve. As a movement, it is in our best interest to consider survivor’s wealth of knowledge and resources, as well as represent those who have been silenced.

As Battered and Formerly Battered Women we fight against the stereotypes dominant culture forces on us. Then, we turn to the Battered Women’s Movement that purports to validate and support us to find we must continue to struggle and educate. We refuse to have our experiences, reactions and our history pathologies. We will not be defined as having a psychological malady that caused, created, or attracted abuse to us and to our lives. We will not be defined as having a psychological malady because we have been battered.

The Battered and Formerly Battered Women’s Caucus of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence call upon all Battered Woman’s Projects, Organizations and Workers to stop using clinical language, and mental health/social work models in their work with Battered Women and Children. These approaches were embraced to gain respect and support for the battered women’s movement, but they have failed to do so. While this approach may have gained respect and financial advantage for some battered women’s workers, this language has done so at a cost of revictimizing, disrespecting and demeaning Battered Women. It has also inadvertently aided batterers using institutional systems to persecute Battered Women, in areas such as child custody proceedings.

The Battered and Formerly Battered Women’s Caucus of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence call upon all Battered Woman’s Projects, Organizations and Workers to recognize that it is your day-to-day advocacy and interaction with Battered Women and children that create social change. Focusing on mental health/social work models that promote the idea that Battered Women need treatment distracts from our most immediate work and deepest belief: the needs she brings to us for safety, support and justice and her inherent autonomy to direct her life and define her identity.

The Battered and Formerly Battered Women’s Caucus of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence call upon researchers and academics within the movement to make their primary focus the cultural and systemic basis of abuse to women and children. We challenge researchers and academics to step up as partners in promoting social change to end battering and sexual assault. We also challenge them to reevaluate current practice that focuses on the outcomes of such research that concentrates on creating and perpetuating the concept of domestic violence as individual psychopathology and/or as caused by alcohol/drug abuse. We recognize past research has increased funding and validity for some; however, we believe the interpretation and implementation of such findings has aided in the suffering and death of the very individuals the research was intended to serve…Battered Women and Children.
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I stood at the end of five days and made myself known as one who was formerly battered and was making a commitment to use my experience and knowledge - my voice - to help stop the violence against women.

I so want to give all of you more and more good news of things to come. I appreciate everyone and keep those of you that may be going through turmoil in my heart.

Thank you and blessings to you all.

Dawn