Just finished my first all-nighter with the hotline phone from the Shelter and I didn’t sleep a wink. No the phone didn’t ring, which is a good thing, but just the thought that it might kept me from dropping off into blissful rest. Although it is normal, I didn’t think I would act this way. Answering the phone at the Shelter is completely different than having it next to your bed. I asked my husband to come get me should it ring while I was in the shower and he quickly responded, “take in there with you!” I had to laugh cause he was feeling the same way I was, nervous that it should ring and be an emergency. Now don’t get me wrong, I have all the training, know all the rules, have all the contact numbers and reference materials in a big back pack that comes with the phone, but I just couldn’t help the feeling of its presence, looming over my shoulder, ready to jump. I actually found myself chanting to it, “please don’t ring…please don’t ring,” and felt like a wimp for doing so.

Thankfully, the Soup Supper fund raiser was this evening and I was able to bring it along, hidden safely in my coat pocket. A great sense of comfort came over me being surrounded by all the volunteers, staff and board of directors who were working the event and I finally relaxed. Our volunteer coordinator approached me immediately to ask if I was alright, knowing it was my first overnighter, and I gushed out all of my fears even though there had been no calls. What a great system, I thought, that everyone listens and cares so attentively…and no one thought I was a wimp! I learned alot about my community and felt I belonged.

Peace and blessings to all… And go volunteer. Cause even if the phone doesn’t ring, and you weren’t able to place someone in a safe house or offer some kind of help, you’ll be surprised at what YOU get out of it.

Dawn

Bogged down for the past two weeks with taxes, contracts and lawyers, I haven’t really had the time or the energy to sit and write anything that would make much sense, nor did I want to mention more of the worrying health issues that my little Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, was suffering. (Yes, she was named Tinkerbell many years before Paris Hilton named her Chihuahua Tinkerbell, thank you.) Ten days ago she had a very serious surgery and her heart murmur was much worse, but today she is recovering wonderfully I am more than happy to report.

My friend Linda who has just recieved a clean bill of health after a terrible series of chemotheraphy treatments is well enough to call me again in the mornings making sure I have worked on my book the night before. Today she anounced she’s throwing a “kicking cancer’s ass” party in May when the weather warms up. “We are having a Mariachi (sp) band in the yard and a bar-b-que”, she tells me then asks if I mind if there is alchohol there. “Good greif, no!” I tell her, thinking she should do as she damn well pleases and feeling glad that it truly doesn’t bother me to be around people who drink. Hell, I’ll probably do more dancing sober, I’m so happy for her.

My agent and I are on track and working hard again. I know some of you have been wondering about the status of the book and well, I can tell you that I have a great team together and the editing is going full force. I can’t thank you all enough for your patience. Just thought I’d mention that.

So Valentine’s Day is here and almost gone. I had a pretty nice one. Flowers and candy were delivered to my office by my husband. (He snuck in when I wasn’t there.) My daughter drew me over ten pictures with her new colored markers after she and her class sang Valentine’s songs to the residents at the local Retirement Center. The kids were so great to watch. My husband and I bought her the pink and yellow Power Ranger (the girls) for her gift and we had a blast watching her tear into the package.

You know, life still has me facing some pretty big curve balls right now, meaning that I have some scary situations going on that I prefer not to mention at the moment. But today was a good day and I want to wish you all the same and let you know that I am doing my very best to get my book written, written well and from my heart. It is what I think is worth telling.

Blessings,

Dawn

An unusual wave of warm weather has washed over my town and although the trees are still bare, the sun is shining and the promise of spring seems near. But this has just been the beginning of some great news. On a post I made back in October, a dear friend of mine, Linda, was going through a terrible time with chemotherapy. Six treatments, so torturous, that I couldn’t bring myself to post more about them or her fight in early December to come out of a coma. We were all very, very scared, stepping on every moment carefully as if it would shatter into our last together. Linda is a writer, and a good one at that. She is also a huge giver and has shared so freely her support and motivation in my writing. Before she got sick, we spoke daily and passionately about all aspects of writing, life and friendship, but when her treatments began the focus had to be on her health and I have missed her.

I call her Lioness, as it is a name she gave herself years ago when she began writing. (Also songbird and rooster, but I don’t like them as well). It is a name of strength and courage and if ever the character of a name should fit a person, it is now. Linda called me. After treatments of chemo, blood poisoning, hair loss and struggling back from a coma, she called to tell me her cat scan came back CANCER FREE! I danced on the other end of the phone as she laughed. “Whooo Whooooo!” I cheered. “Now all we have to do is have a hair growing party!”

“Oh, you”, she giggled, knowing I liked to tease. “It will come back. It will, it will.”

‘I know it will’, I thought with certainty, and I felt the triumphant pride of a true lioness having won a terrible winter battle stretch across the long telephone line, and I was glad to have my friend back.

Lately, I’ve been hibernating. On an emotional level, I mean. ‘So what? It’s winter isn’t it?’ I rationalize, even though I’m a bit annoyed with myself, ever cautious that I don’t get depressed. There is days old snow on the ground and the leaves are gone off of the exposed brown limbs of the trees. There are contracts, books, agents, jobs, research and general catching up to do from the holidays, but that’s not what’s bothering me. Too much, it seems, of an emotional nature, has been going on in my life as some of you may have read from my recent posts, and I have just felt like I needed to pull back, become more reflective and remember to keep the faith.

Tragedies and heartaches come at me sometimes rapidly and challenge my idea of what the world should be. In times like these, I am tempted to take on the “injustices” in life and question them, as if I have a right to put all things in order. Thankfully, I check my ego at the door rather quickly these days and I realize soon enough that that is not my job. I am not God. And the God of my experience is a faithful loving force, even if I don’t always understand my own pain or the pain of the world.

You know, right about now it makes me laugh to think of someone’s sarcastic remark made about me on another site, where I am called Oprah-like. If to have and recognize my spirit is Oprah-like then, how cool is that, I say. Oprah-like and damn proud! And…I’m keeping the faith.

Hey all,

Here is a somber post. A plea for prayers…please.

On the set of Wonderland I had the pleasure of getting to know the First Assistant Director, Luke Scully. He was mellow and kind, with many words and deeds that helped me cope with some of the harder shoots of the film. Sadly, he is among the many listed as missing in Phuket Thailand and today, after the family sent a private investigator, the news came back bleak. I hesitate to say anything final, except to continued the families wishes and focus on a shred of hope, asking anyone who may read this and is willing, to say a prayer, send a good thought, whatever you know how to do in a time like this, not only for Luke, but his family and girlfriend, Angie Foust. Angie was with him and is missing also.

Please, send those prayers and thoughts out…it is what we can do.

Blessings,

Dawn

Hey all,

If you’re interested, the wonderful people over at vkn.com have posted an article that Sharon Holmes and I did recently. Some of you have been asking about it and here it is. It is in the December issue of their newsletter. I know that many of you are Val Kilmer fans and I think you will have lots of good reading from the devoted people who post over there.

Also! Very, very soon, I want to give you a heads up with changes coming on the official Val Kilmer site that is currently in the works. It’s an all new design and content scheduled to be up and running before the end of this month. The link is valkilmer.com and is also listed at the side of this blog. This one, I’m told, promises to be a glimpse into the creativity of the actor and if it in anyway reflects what I witnessed on the set of Wonderland, then we are all in for a treat.

Thanks again to everyone at VKN!

Dawn

Just in case…anyone is interested in a direct link to Patong Beach, Phuket, Thailand for tsunami information and/or relief updates, here is a link that my family stays close to: phuketgazette.net. There are pictures and a list of the still missing. For the gentleman named Movie Fan, there is information and links for contributions to the area directly. My father also said that The Red Cross is fine and you can designate your donation to go specifically to an area of your choice. Later, after a reasonable time, you can call and ask where directly did your funds go.

The pictures here tell alot. It takes awhile to get through them. Good news on the dive shop that was next to my father’s old place. They are all safe and had actually been on the ocean near Burma, I believe. My father informed me last night that phone lines are back up as of yesterday as well.

Tough stuff.

Dawn

Back from the coast with family and friends. Exhausted and trying to catch up on the emails, messages, and cards. So sweet — all of your condolences regarding the loss of so many from Thailand. I will sit through your comments more thoroughly tomorrow, I promise. I only wanted to send the best out to all on the New Year!

May your New Year be everything your hearts desire.

Blessings,

Dawn

Shock woke me this morning. My husband yelling, “DAWN! Thousands killed in Thailand. It’s on the news. An 8.9 earthquake! Your Dad!”

“WHAT?” I came running downstairs, my thoughts reeling. ‘An earthquake? Oh God. An 8.9. If that hit the city of Bangkok, it would be leveled!’

CNN blasted the headlines as my husband handed me a cup of coffee. I held my breath… “The earthqake centered in Indonesia, launched tsunami waves up to 30 feet high washing away close to 200 people off the beaches of Patong Beach, Thailand.”

“Oh my God”, I whispered, still in shock as the pictures flashed before me the devestating remains of a place I called home for almost 6 years. Bangkok was safe. My father, brothers and sister were safe, but Paradise, the hotel on Patong Beach I helped my father open in 1982 — the place I called sanctuary after running from John out of the country, was no where to be found.

In a matter of minutes the phone rang — my sister on the other end. “Dawn. I just talked to Dad. It’s gone — all of it — Paradise is gone.”

‘Oh no’, I thought, ‘what about all of our friends? What about all the people we knew that made that tiny community their home?’

“Dawn, you there?” my sister asked.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Do you know how lucky Dad is? How lucky we are?”

“Yeah. I know,” and I was left without words. Our father sold the hotel less than two years ago. We were all there, on the oceanfront hotel he and I named Paradise some twenty years before. We were celebrating the change of ownership and ringing in the New Year of 2003. A beautiful bay off the Indian Ocean where, in the eighties, I taught windsurfing with a gentle yellow Lab who adopted me, and rented bicycles to tourists. The bells of those bicycles ring in my ear now. “Jaka-yan…Jaka-yan!” I can hear my voice calling out the word for bicycle in Thai. Then I realize, as I sit here and write, that the windchimes outside my door are ringing too…and I wait for more news.

Dawn

Dear All,

The presents are wrapped, the cards are all sent, there are cookies for Santa and my daughter and I are dressed in our holiday best. I’m taking a moment before running out the door to begin the holiday rounds of food and good cheer to wish you all the brightest…THE BEST…this season…and year.

Okay, for some reason that came out like a sort of poem. It may have to do with hanging around a five year old, but I somehow think it is als0 the child-like part of Christmas in me showing it’s colors, readying me for celebration. Who cares? …I’m just gonna go with it.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to say thank you to all who have sent good wishes and shared your experiences with me. I wish you all so much love, peace and especially hope. I have so many wonderful gifts in my life today…miracles do happen.

My daughter is anxious, I’ve been on the computer too long. She’s calling from the front door, ready to leave. “Come on Mom,” she says, “just say Merry Christmas and let’s go!” There is great wisdom in children.

Merry Christmas,

Dawn