Lately, I've been hibernating. On an emotional level, I mean. 'So what? It's winter isn't it?' I rationalize, even though I'm a bit annoyed with myself, ever cautious that I don't get depressed. There is days old snow on the ground and the leaves are gone off of the exposed brown limbs of the trees. There are contracts, books, agents, jobs, research and general catching up to do from the holidays, but that's not what's bothering me. Too much, it seems, of an emotional nature, has been going on in my life as some of you may have read from my recent posts, and I have just felt like I needed to pull back, become more reflective and remember to keep the faith. Tragedies and heartaches come at me sometimes rapidly and challenge my idea of what the world should be. In times like these, I am tempted to take on the "injustices" in life and question them, as if I have a right to put all things in order. Thankfully, I check my ego at the door rather quickly these days and I realize soon enough that that is not my job. I am not God. And the God of my experience is a faithful loving force, even if I don't always understand my own pain or the pain of the world.
You know, right about now it makes me laugh to think of someone's sarcastic remark made about me on another site, where I am called Oprah-like. If to have and recognize my spirit is Oprah-like then, how cool is that, I say. Oprah-like and damn proud! And...I'm keeping the faith.